Review: Captain Marvel

I’ve got nothing to prove to you.

One of the primary themes of Captain Marvel is the way Carol a.k.a. Ver’s mentor/boss Yon-Rogg uses misogynistic mind games (and, well, a literally chip in her neck) to perpetually dampen her powers and hold her down.  Once she comes to this realization, she tells him in their final showdown: “You know what?  Fuck off, I don’t need to waste my time trying to prove myself to you anymore.”  I’m paraphrasing this PG-13 movie obviously, but that’s the gist.  And it’s part of the entire point of the movie.  It’s ironic, then, that I’ve spent the past month tracking Captain Marvel‘s box office receipts for the express purpose of proving all the pathetic misogynist trolls – who tried so very hard to tank this movie – that they are wrong stupid impotent garbage boys.  Of course, I want Marvel’s first lady superhero movie to be successful regardless, but my motivations here are probably about equal between the two.

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Angry Man Tears: The Captain Marvel Edition

Man, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything fangirl-related on this blog.  Last August I came to the realization that I’d wasted so much time reviewing The 100 for 3 seasons that I’ve been put off from ever wanting to review anything again.  I’ve even had a few urges to delete every 100 review I’ve ever written, for fear that some poor unsuspecting noob will come across them and be totally misled.  Sigh.  I guess from now on, the safest bet is to review a) movies and b) TV shows that have already finished airing, so you can be certain they won’t shit the bed later.  As for The 100, I suppose I at least managed to provide some people with some good laughs and catharsis as we all came to the terrible realization of what a sadistic asswipe Jason Rothenberg truly is.

Anywho.  Since then I’ve joined many The 100 refugees and binged Queen of the South (USA) and 12 Monkeys (SyFy).  The beauty of 12 Monkeys is that it finished its 4-season run in 2018, so I could be guaranteed before watching that it was a known quantity to everyone who’d recommended it to me.  And I’m glad they did – I normally hate time travel stories, but what a thoroughly entertaining, thoughtful and heartfelt little show it was.  I’ve quite enjoyed Queen of the South too, but it’s 3 seasons in and still has more seasons to come, so it still has the potential to go off the rails at some point.  Fingers crossed it doesn’t go haywire.

So here we are now in late Feb/early March 2019, and Captain Marvel is the next big MCU flick due to hit the big screen.  Lady superhero movies are so rare that I’m always excited and hopeful any time a new one is due out.  And no, I don’t count the ensemble flicks where the female superheroes play second and third fiddle.  I’m talking about the ones where they are the titular character – the HBIC.  The last one of these we got was 2 years ago with Wonder Woman.  And before that it was … uhhhh … errr … Supergirl in 1984?  I honestly don’t even know.  Oh right, eek, Catwoman.  Oh shit, Elektra!  Aggh.  This is starting to make me wonder if there literally has ever been a quality lady superhero movie before Wonder Woman.  I think no?  Suffice it to say, there’s a ton riding on Captain Marvel at this point.  We’re in dire need of Good Lady Superhero Movie #2 in the extremely short history of lady superhero movies.

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Mockingjay 2: Tossing Out the Blockbuster Rulebook

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From the moment I finished reading the Hunger Games novels back in 2011, as the first Hunger Games movie was already starting production, I worried about Mockingjay.  It’s hard enough to make a PG-13 movie series about kids being thrown into an arena and forced to kill each other, and to expect general audiences to want to watch said series.  But to follow the story through to its fairly bitter and sobering end, and expect people to keep sticking with it, was beyond what I could imagine.  I was 34 when I read these books, and as I closed Mockingjay after finishing its final page, all I could think of was, I am a fully-functioning adult, and I feel like I need therapy right now.  How in the name of all that is holy could a 12 year-old read this and be o.k.??

At that point, all I hoped for from the the movie adaptations was for them to be decent, and to get enough of an audience that they could make all 3 movies (well, 4 – it’s basically a given these days that studios will split the last book into 2 films for the extra cash-grab).  And then The Hunger Games was released in March 2012.  And it became the 11th highest-grossing (domestic) film of all time.  And then Catching Fire was released in November 2013, and it made even more money.  It was the highest-grossing film of 2013 (domestic), and surpassed the Hunger Games to become the 10th highest-grossing movie of all time.  Not only that, but The Hunger Games was a pretty damn good movie, and Catching Fire was flat-out fantastic.  All of this was about a billion miles past what I could have ever hoped for from this series.

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